To The Day When Faith in Love is Restored

“There is nothing more beautiful than a person whose heart has been broken but who still believes in love.” Unknown

On articles about love, many comments can often be seen written by people who have lost, or are on their way to losing faith in love, those forever thingy, the “till death do us part” type. There’s no surprise that this is happening.

With the convenience of meeting new people online, men and women are getting used to constant visual stimulation. We see attractive people of the opposite sex just by swiping our fingers, we have the option to approach them privately, and things could go from there without anyone knowing. It’s different from those days when a man and a woman have to meet face to face in order to cheat. The probability of cheating happening is so much higher, it’s harder to get caught.

Most girls grow up reading books about prince and princesses living happily ever after. Boys usually started out approaching girls they like with pure innocence. Yet, where there’s light, there will be darkness. Pure souls are crushed by wounded ones. It’s a cycle.

We often heard of fuckbois and bitches, betraying their loyal partners, breaking their hearts, creating this group of people who choose to stop believing in true love. These heartbreakers, could be a victim of another heartbreaker. They could be still recovering from their own betrayals. That’s what we do. We get hurt, we shut ourselves out, and opt for casual relationships instead. In the process, we’re unaware that our form of self-protection could damage a soul.

Years after the first betrayal, you met someone. She was so attractive and intriguing. You started texting. Her texts were minutes if not hours apart, they kept you on your toes, you’re constantly waiting for her next response. It’s been weeks, and she hasn’t agreed to go out on a date with you, so you kept going, because she’s a mystery, you really wanna get to know her. The moment came when she told you that she was seeing someone, leaving you crushed. You blamed yourself. You should have been more aggressive in pursuing her. But then, she’s the one stringing you along, flirting with you, giving you mixed signals.

You realized that it was a game all along. You had enough of being a good boy. Girls love bad boys don’t they? This was when you first transformed into a bad boy. Playing with girls’ feelings, not giving a damn of how they really feel, telling them that you can only offer a casual relationship. You still get to hang out with girls, but it’s safe, they’re not real feelings, you won’t get hurt. But do you know how many girls have been hurt by you and since then, have sworn to not trust another guy anymore?

“Cheating on a girl is deeper than people realize. It destroys her outlook on love, her future relationships and peace within herself.”

True everlasting love? It seems to be such a foreign idea. Fiction plays a part of fulfilling this desire and fantasy for true love. We read and gush over heroes who confess their love for their heroines, the epilogue then shows them having three kids and are still madly in love with each other. But in real life, it isn’t realistic to expect that a marriage or a relationship could last forever.

So what do we do? The pain and the hurt from previous betrayals is still deep within our minds. We knows that not everyone cheats. We still see a lot of happy couples who grow old together. But that isn’t enough for us to open our hearts. There isn’t someone in our lives who are powerful enough to make us believe in love again, someone worthy for us to take the risk of getting hurt again. 

“A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along.” J.S.B. Morse

Someday, we might fall in love and succumb to being vulnerable, and it might be worth it. But till then, it feels safe choosing to stay on our own. To concentrate on self-loving, and enjoy the freedom and peace of mind, that you are not in the risk of being betrayed.